6 Awkward Things that Make One Stands Cringeworthy

One night stands are an art that is often underappreciated. Yes, they may seem seedy or slutty, but in fact, they have a kind of beauty that is both e

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preview-full-418_tips-for-one-night-stands_flashOne night stands are an art that is often underappreciated. Yes, they may seem seedy or slutty, but in fact, they have a kind of beauty that is both embarrassing, awkward and pretty much always story-worthy. From lost underwear to wrong houses, everyone gets a good laugh after one of their mates has had a one night stand. Usually always after a night of heavy drinking, one night stands are definitely not usually made with the best of judgment.

As pleasurous as they may seem, they’re often be tainted by a plethora of cringeworthy moments. Those, supposedly, are the best stories, but never at the moment it is happening. Here are some embarrassing one night stand moments that may seem familiar to you.

  1. The journey

You are in the bar, sipping away at your drinks, giving each other the smooth moves, each of you aware where this is heading. However, most people forget about the awkward ride home. You are old enough now that the bus should never be an option, but some guys do still only provide that service. Or how about when she falls asleep in the taxi and you now feel like you kidnapped her. The walk from the taxi to the house, the house to the bedroom. Right up until the moment, your clothes are off is usually filled with uncertainty and awkwardness that you did not pre-empt in the bar.

  1. When nobody has a condom

You didn’t think you were getting lucky, she just doesn’t have a condom. This moment is brutal. You both look at each other contemplating unsafe sex and finally settling on doing ‘everything but’ like a couple of awkward teenagers who are scared their parents will walk in. This is one of those moments that is not only embarrassing but so disappointing, because they likelihood is, you probably aren’t getting a second shot.

  1. When they are into something weird

Evcer had one of those one night stands where the chick just goes for it? Maybe she just pulls out a whip and starts giving you the dominatrix act. Maybe she starts sucking your toes. It is still a mystery whether these moments are brought on by the alcohol and the anonymity of a one night stand, or whether this is how she usually performs, but strange kinks as a first impression are unbelievably awkward, especially if they’re not your thing.

  1. You just can’t get it up

Most guys actually have this problem after a heavy night of drinking. With the added pressure of a new person, it can be hard to really perform. Perhaps you would have been better off supplementing yourself with ‘Sexual Overdrive’ beforehand, but when you’re lying there with a limp stick, you can feel yourself blushing red raw. You know you only have a small window before she eventually just falls asleep.

  1. When someone says something weird

Maybe you say something weird that just spills out of your drunk mouth. Maybe she whispers something odd in your ear. Either way, these things can be a real turn off and can switch to awkward mode very quickly.

  1. When you can’t find your clothes

preview-full-Have-A-One-Night-Stand-e1417032630167That next day rummage only to find your boxers in the fireplace and your belt inexplicably in the kettle. It is a mystery as to where drunk clothes go to, and even more awake if you have to leave without them.

Never fear, no matter how awkward or weird it gets, you’ll always have a good story to tell in the morning. As long as it’s not too shameful!