Meeting your girlfriend’s parents for the first time is probably one of the most nerve-racking things you’ll ever have to face in your life. I’m being serious. Parents are intimidating, especially if they love their dearest daughter oh so much.
Here’s the thing:
When a girl meets her boyfriend’s parents, nine times out of ten, she’s loved. I mean, she’s a real hit with them. Unless she’s downright disrespectful, loud, and obnoxious, she’ll probably be loved by the parents (then again, some parents are real picky). On the other hand, I find it harder for guys to meet their girl’s parents. Why? Well, if you’re reading this and you’re a guy, I’m sure an instance or a memory has sprung to that mind of yours.
What was it like meeting your first girlfriend’s parents? Did you do anything embarrassing? Was there anything that happened that could have been prevented? Was there anything you wish you could have changed about the initial meet and greet? I’m sure there was something that went wrong; And, if not, I’m sure along the way of dating different women, you probably found at least one thing you could have done better when meeting the parents for the first time.
Okay, don’t over think it; Just simply think of a memory you have and you’ll know exactly what I’m referencing to. So, now that you have that memory, and now that you’ve thought about what you could have done better, allow me to butt in and give my honest and straight forward opinions.
I’m going to start with naming some instances, and describing them, so that you’ll feel more comfortable in certain situations. Then, I’m going to rattle off some important checkpoints you should always keep in mind going forward.
- Always remember, when entering her parents home, or anyone’s home for that matter, try to relax the best you can. In other words, don’t be overly excited and thrilled to meet the parents (or people), but don’t be extremely dull and boring, either. Please don’t rush to the parents sides to meet them, you may come off as desperate to give them a good first impression (and this will likely do the opposite, and provide a bad first impression to them). Remember that you are at their house; Allow them to come to you first. Allow them to say, “It’s nice to meet you,” and then you say your response.
- If you’re trying to make small talk with her parents, you have my permission to comment on the weather. Hell, everyone does it. If it’s nice out, state how great the weather has been lately. If it’s cold and nasty out, comment on how you can’t wait for great weather to be here. That’s it. Don’t continue to talk as if you’re a weather man. Unless there has been a horrible hurricane or flood in your immediate area, this is not a topic to lean on for a great deal of time.
- Do not talk about highly controversial topics with her parents, especially in the beginning stages of getting to know them. You probably already know, but if you don’t, that means to avoid topics such as politics and religion.
- Allow her parents to pick most of the topics of conversation. Most of the time, they have something that they’d like to talk to you about anyways. However, if the parents are not willing to make the first move into conversation, choose your topics wisely. For example, talking about sports with her father is usually a good, safe zone. This can range from football to bowling and from soccer to volleyball. Really, there’s not much of a limit. And I’m not talking about just sports on television, I’m also talking about high school sports he may have played, sports he likes watching in person, sports his daughter was involved in, etc. As for her mother, speaking about her home or her children will always put you in the safe zone.
- If you are asked to attend dinner at her parents’ home, be sure to understand that this means a lot to them. That means you must be on time. That also means that you should bring a gift of some sort (e.g. flowers for the mother, wine for the dinner, or dessert for later). In addition to this, don’t get picky with the food unless you’re allergic to it. Eat what the mother or the father puts on the plate and make sure you find something to compliment on.
In addition to these 5 really important suggestions to remember when meeting her parents, you should probably also pay close attention to the following brief suggestions, too:
- When you’re first introduced to them, repeat their names back to them. If they tell you to call them Mr. or Mrs., repeat that back to them. If they ask you to call them by their first time, repeat that back to them.
- If you’re meeting her parents for the first time in their home (she lives there, mom and dad lives there, etc.) be sure to leave earlier than they expect you to. Don’t outstay your welcome.
- Have manners at the dinner table if you’re invited to join them for dinner. For example, ask if they need any help cleaning up, pass the bread and butter when asked, and compliment the cooking.
- For future reference, always try your best to think of her parents on holidays and special occasions. For example, send them a Christmas and birthday card each year. If you want, you can throw in a small and thoughtful gift (but don’t overdue this, because then you’ll look like a showoff).
- Also for future reference, if there’s a party at your girl’s place, offer to help clean up afterwards.
Try your best to start doing as many of these things as possible, and you’ll be on your way to making her parents adore you! Remember, always be genuine in doing all of this. If you fake it, they’ll probably be able to tell.
By Jenny Lyn