Quarter-life crisis happens to almost everyone, and despite it being kind of typical, it doesn’t lessen the gravity of the misery it brings. It makes you paralyzed with indecision and loneliness. It makes waking up everyday filled with hopelessness and unseen purpose that makes living kind of futile, if you can believe that.
There’s just this paramount negativity that makes everything seems impossible and worthless at the same time. That’s no way to live a life, that’s for sure. And though there are things we can do to get by, it would appear that simply getting by isn’t enough. We need to get over it in order to get on with our lives with newfound hope.
Yeah, sure, it’s hard to control feelings. We need to just feel it and let it overwhelm us into doom and gloom. But sooner or later we need to fight it, complete with battle gears and a whole new attitude. You need to, if you want to move forward with your life and focus on achieving your goals; because quarter-life crisis stops you from doing exactly that.
Here are the things you can do that can give you a shot at being happy and hopeful once again:
Stop comparing your life with others
Not that it’s easy, especially with people on social media purposely posting great things to give the impression that their lives are incredibly fantastic (#blessed or #livinglifetoitsfullest), but it can be done. The moment you caught yourself comparing your life with someone else’s, make the conscious decision to stop and focus on something else. Focus on the fact that people’s lives are different and they always will be. Others’ journey doesn’t have to be synonymous with yours. Concentrate on your own path and don’t let its slow pace bother you. A life that’s made to copy others’ isn’t a life at all.
Discuss it with someone
When you’re pretending that you’re doing great because it’s embarrassing to be unhappy, it makes it harder for you deal with your emotional and mental afflictions. Know that everyone, regardless of the islands they’ve been to, feel crappy at one point about something. And it helps talking about it with someone who’ll listen. In order to get over it, you need to get it all out in the open, all your insecurities and fears. You might be surprised how experiencing all those ugly emotions is something that everyone else experiences, too. Suppressing emotions becomes heavy load that needs to be taken out of your system. Although talking about it doesn’t completely erase them, it helps a great deal to lessen the weight.
Stop with the ‘should-have beens’
The should-have beens in our lives are poison. They make you regret with the decisions you’ve made and cripple your thoughts with negativity. The things you think you should have accomplished by now are just ideas. They’re not guaranteed to have turned out they way you wanted them to be if you only did this one thing instead of the other. It’s pointless, really. The decision you made was the right decision you thought at the time. At the end of the day, you are where you’re supposed to be.
After eliminating all the negativities that stop you from being and feeling great, it’s time you do something about your goals. It can be hard to know what really it is that you want, especially if you don’t know yourself, like for real. So, get to know yourself. To begin, take personality tests. Of course, they don’t precisely define who you are, but they’re a good start. You may be surprised of how clueless you are about your own self. That’s why external determinants can help. Through these, you’re given insights into your strengths, weaknesses, how you are when you’re in a relationship, and so on. These tests can help you find clarity, so that you’re steered to the right course.
If you spend some time daydreaming, that’s super great. It brings you to places and scenarios you’re looking to achieve and it feels good. The positive feelings daydreaming generates help fuel not only your imagination, but your motivation, too. And doing it every day means you’re feeling motivated all the time, too.
So, visualize yourself in five years, or make it ten. What do you see? What have you accomplished? What brings you utmost excitement? Since you’re daydreaming, don’t limit yourself. Next, compare the pictures in your mind to the personality tests you just took. Do the traits you found yourself to possess useful to the endeavors you’re envisioning in the future? If they are, then you have an idea of where to invest your intellect and efforts. It’s a good start to build your dreams upon.
Now that you have an idea of what you want, it’s time to spend time researching on how to get there. If you saw yourself accomplished in a certain field, then you can probably enroll in classes to hone your skills and knowledge. Look up for some certification or graduation programs. If you saw yourself writing screenplays for movies, then allot some time writing every day. Hide in coffee shops if you have to. This allows you to concentrate. Of course, being caffeinated helps, too.
One of the reasons why quarter-life crisis feels like the worst is because you’re not doing anything to make a change. You can’t just feel bad all the time. Your endeavors may not go well as planned, but you did something, and that makes the difference.