Men have countless questions about why women are the way they are. Some common questions that roam the minds of men are:
- Why can’t women choose what they want to eat for dinner?
- Why do throw pillows look so nice on a freshly-made bed?
- Why do women always have to go to the bathroom with at least one other woman?
And those are just the basic questions. The more complex question that’s roaming your brain, however, has a lot to do with why women always say nothing is wrong, when it seems that something is clearly wrong. You see, that’s the question I can totally help you with.
When your lady says, “she’s fine,” and you suspect she may not be fine, here’s some advice that may help you out. Please keep an open mind when reading this article, as it will help you out in the future.
She may say she’s fine because she’s been trained to believe she’s most likely overreacting.
Words tend to get thrown at a woman when she’s reacting certain ways. For example, when your lady is voicing her opinion about why another woman shouldn’t be texting you at late hours of the night, listen to her. Don’t call her a psycho, don’t call her a bitch, and don’t call her crazy. She’s right. A woman should not be texting you at all of hours of the night, whoever she is. If your girl is trying to communicate this to you, keep in mind that this is a healthy, and normal, response to the situation at hand.
However, most times, men program their woman to think that they are overreacting. In the situation I just briefly described, men tend to say there’s nothing wrong with her texting him at that time of the night. They go on to say something along the lines of they don’t respond late at night anyways, or it’s just about the workday tomorrow. Err, wrong. She’s not overreacting, so don’t treat her like she is.
To add briefly, don’t encourage your girl to be the ‘chill girl,’ otherwise known as the girl that drinks a lot and never brings forward a problem. That’s not what you want as your end game, anyways.
She may say she’s fine because she hasn’t worked out the problem in her head just yet.
Sometimes, women need time to process certain facts and information. In these cases, they may say that nothing’s wrong because they haven’t figured out what IS wrong yet.
Don’t get me wrong, I am a woman, and I do know that us girls can freak out very easily due to our enhanced emotions. However, sometimes we need to unpack and go through our emotions one by one to decipher what the real issue is at hand. Sometimes, we even want to come up with a well-thought out discussion in our minds before bringing the issue to you face to face (that’s right, we don’t always want to throw the kitchen sink at you).
So, back off for a little bit. If she says she’s fine, let her think about things on her own. If it’s her problem, she’ll figure it out. If it’s a problem for the both of you to tackle, she’ll bring it up eventually.
She may say she’s fine because she doesn’t have the energy to fight with you.
Sometimes, especially in a long-term, committed relationship, problems arise that just aren’t worth putting your energy into. She may tell you that nothing is wrong if something is really bothering her, but it may be bothering her for the moment and she’s just waiting for the moment to pass. Some issues aren’t worth fighting over, so just let her deal with them in her head instead of blowing a little, tiny problem into a huge issue.
For example, if you show up late to a really important family cookout, she may be mad in the moment, but just let it pass. Chances are, if you continue to nag her, you’ll make the issue worse and then it’ll really turn into a bigger-than-needed fight.
She may say she’s fine because she has already addressed the problem with you.
This really shouldn’t happen guys, but it does happen, and more often than not. Maybe she’s asked you a few dozen times to replace the toilet paper roll once you use it up. Or maybe she’s asked you to stop taking your cell phone out in the middle of dinner. Whatever it is, she’s sick of hearing herself say the same words to you over and over again. Either shape up, or let it go and don’t keep asking her what’s wrong.
She may say she’s fine because you’re a horrible listener.
I understand men are great at problem solving, most of the time. And they’ll listen to you when it truly matters. However, what you guys don’t do is help us with our personal, work, and friendship problems.
More often than not, men zone out or get distracted easily when we women are trying to express our feelings about the problems we faced that day. If you do get bored easily and don’t end up paying attention to her, she’ll quit telling you her everyday problems. It’s that simple.
She may say she’s fine because she really is fine.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s nice to feel like a man cares when they ask if I’m alright from time to time. It shows that they really do want to know if there’s anything they can do to make the situation better. However, sometimes the bitch face that is present is there to stay; In other words, nothing is wrong, that’s just the look I’m expressing for the time being.
So, if you ask her once and I say nothing, you are able to ask one more time without a real issue arising. Stop doing what you’re doing, really pay attention to what she’s saying, and ask her if there really is nothing wrong. If she says there isn’t, believe her and move on.
One of the biggest things you need to remember here is that you must try your best to decipher her reasons for not telling you what is wrong. For example, if you were asked to wash the dishes and you don’t do them, but she starts banging pots and pans around in the sink, get your ass up and do those dishes. Or, if she’s been called crazy to her face by you, and she starts to shut her mouth when she finds something that she should technically communicate to you, go to her and coax her through it. Reassure her that talking to you will only make things better.
I understand guys. It’s a constant learning battle. Just try your best and you should be fine at the end of the day.
By Jenny Lyn